Last weekend, my mom passed away. I had blogged once or twice that in recent months I found myself at the hospital often, as she declined in health and was in and out of the hospital and rehab. It was what inspired me to make Micro.blog free for nurses and teachers.
My mom was selfless, making many sacrifices throughout her life so that I could become the person I am. At the hospital, when I thought she might only have days left, she told me, “I’m fine, go home and get some rest.”
Even in grief, there are moments of good that we can hold on to. I am thankful that my life and work allowed me to care for her in what became her final weeks. When there was nothing else the doctors could do, my mom moved in with my wife and I under hospice care so she could be at our house, always surrounded by people who loved her.
This has been the hardest thing I’ve ever done in my life. I rarely share such personal stories of family publicly. It feels right, though, because it ties into many things I write about.
What do we do when everything goes wrong? The next right thing. We breathe. We get up. Tomorrow the sun will rise on a new day.
Last year I blogged that loss can be a huge motivator:
After my father died, I got married, had kids, and bought a house. After the 2016 election, I launched Micro.blog. After my kids moved away to college, we sold the house and downsized.
As I reflect on this current phase of my life, I know there will be more changes. I continue to put my heart and soul into Micro.blog. I feel really good about the progress we’ve made over the last couple of years.
So for Micro.blog, the work continues. I will catch up on email, and I can’t wait to wrap up the new video hosting I’ve been working on.
I’m motivated to simplify and slow down, to be more at peace with the pace of my schedule. To do less. When I was dealing with the stress of personal attacks early this year, I made a similar choice, asking Daniel Jalkut if it was time to retire our Core Intuition podcast.
I hope Micro.blog can play a small part in providing a quieter social timeline for others too, as we try to build a platform that is less obsessed with trending news and heated discussions.
I also just turned 50 years old. In the span of just 4 days, I had my wedding anniversary, my mom’s death, and my birthday. We decided to plant a tree in our backyard, to mark our anniversary and in memory of my mom. So I found myself outside last week digging a hole as tears slid down my face. Anticipating the loss, needing to do something.
Way back in 2008, I blogged about planting trees and starting projects:
If you procrastinate forever, just because you won’t see results anytime soon, you’ll find yourself looking back 10 years later and wishing if only I had just planted that tree / started that new software project, it would have been done by now.
This time I wanted the new tree to be a Monterrey Oak. They don’t last hundreds of years like a Live Oak, and maybe they aren’t as strong, but they grow very quickly. Time is precious. I want to see the tree get large and provide beauty and shade before it’s too late.
